CLUELESS MEN AND WOMEN WITH HUMOR!
[This was sent to me by a very good musician friend of mine in the SW who is on the mend and I thought you might have a laugh over it. ]
__________
Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh: Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh: Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
[ This message was intended for we men who are clueless and women who love humor.]
posted by Michael Manning @ 12:01 AM
26 comments
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26 Comments:
oh dear... Well... yes, its funny... but... hmm.. *loud sigh*
Fine.
As much as I hate to admit this is pretty close to the truth - it also brings to light how clueless men REALLY are.
I am just starting to realize this with my 15 year old - he just doesn't get the subtle hints (like his dad) Argh!
Ah well, I just have to learn to spell it out.
This is a good one! Alot of it is true to being a woman, that I must confess. lol
hehehe, yup i've read this in the past. it's actually a longer list than this, but just the same, it's meant to warn men in general. :-)
good post!
Trust me, as a person who has gone through 2 divorces... I wish I had these notes a long time ago. I might be still married... hmmm, a bigimist but married. lol
I beg to differ. The last one can be applied to both sexes. Thanking people isn't done by either nearly enough.
See, that's the stuff they should teach you in high school.
*Loud sigh*; Five minutes? Fine! That's ok, go ahead and.. oh nothing, thanks anyway. ;)
Well now guys have no excuse for not knowing what im really thinking.
You are so right on. Thanks for sharing this with your fellow clueless brothers! :)
You missed "Silence": No news is bad news.
Personally I am a big fan of "FINE" and "NO PROBLEM," both said through gritted teeth.
At that point, ignore me at your own risk hehe.
This is cute! I like "Fine" and "Thanks" is the best! Good one michael! enjoyed the read :-)
And I have something to share:
hey michael, I have created a new blog called "INSPIRATIONS -The realm of imagination" designed exclusively for the writers & poets with an invitation to "Interpret my Art". The blog has been created with an intention to learn, share, enjoy and relax. I have hosted up few of my artworks and would be very happy to have your words for my art in the form of a short story or poetry, anything you like and whenever time permits. I plan to keep hosting some new artworks every once in a while. New images, new writings!
And hence, I wish to send you a personal invite for your kind participation.But before that, I would like to have your email (bcos it is a jpg file format). Also, I would love for any of the interested writers & poets to drop by. It would mean a lot to me! will wait to hear from you michael..Let me know. And for the interested writers and poets I am willing to send the link to my new blog :-)
Thanks..have a gr8 day!
Cheers,
Rashmi
Well put and so very true LOL
.:loud sigh:. Fine.
Seriously, I have spent the past several years being very up-front and non-head-gamey with That Man of Mine, so he knows exactly when I am angry, why I am angry, and what he needs to do to help fix the situation. As a result, I am perceived as a big ol' biznatch.
Men think they can't win, but truthfully, women are kind of cornered, too.
Lisa: OUCH! (Whew!!)
Knitti-Me: That's it. Start as soon as possible so he isn't unprepared like Moi!
Tutu: Stand next to me just in case I can't find my police riot shield!
Chrixean: Thanks for the support!
Remember the discalimer: "I didn't write this and neither did my Musician friend who has to be laughing at me by now!"
Denny: While not married yet, I can vouch that we are two "late bloomers" on this! ("What'd I do?, WHAT'D I DO!!!")
The Music Whore: I went back and looked and I agree with you! Peace!!
Bud: Coming from a Great Teacher I'll take your word!
Carolyn: Such a cute lady...wait! ow, Ow, OW, OWWWW!!!
Pink Lady: I'm looking for a stick and a white hanky to fastened to the end of it to poke out the open window of my flat to wave back and forth!
Teresa: Come over here and stand with Tutu on my left and you stand on my right, I still haven't found that protective shield. I thought I stored it under the bed. Damn!
Thomas: Post that one at your own risk. Oy!
LisaBinDaCity: How could I Possibly ignore such a beautiful lady (HELP! HELP!!!)LMAO!!!!
Rashmi: Thanks for sharing with us. Glowing with your compliments. Not sure I deserve them just today. But I'll be over.
Kim: Quick! I have Tutu and Teresa here, hurry over and that should be enough for my "human shield"! lol!
GW: I must admit after reading your post twice, I've truthfully never found a woman cornered more than 5 seconds after an insult. Then comes the knockout punch in the form of a well artculated, usually soft-spoken jolt to the moronic man's ego that leaves us we men watching from the other end of a room going "Uwwwwwww!" as in "Someone just had their head handed to them". We then toast the woman and drink up. Mostly because we were jealous to begin with (that WE weren't her date)! lol!!
You forgot "Of Course!" which means Duuuuhhh You Ass
Caribbean Colors: Glad you stopped by. I really owe youa visit! lol!
What's great is when you use the "fine" with a girlfriend, she immediately realizes things aren't quite right and tries to correct them. Guess how I know:)
ha ha that was too funny!! now you know the men aren't gonna pay attention to that, even when it is right in front of them they still can't figure it out!! lol just kidding, just kidding. thanks for stopping by my blog!!
Becky: You crack me up!
Just help me: You are Linked!
Well at least it is now in black and white for all men to look at and study very carefully! LOL!!
This is totally cute, Michael. Thank you for sharing.
Bubbles: I'm glad you recognized I'm only the messenger!
Keri: That's it. I want the name and address of that photorapher. From now on anyone who takes a photo of me has to use B&W film. Very cool!!
"Just do whatever you want" - that means "do it on your own and don't expect me to cheer for you". lols.
that was fun MM. thanks!
Asian Smiles: I think YOU are fun!!! lol back at ya!!!
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